I’m free to think and to ask the Lord the questions I have in my mind. It’s as if I’m speaking with Him silently without uttering a single word. Asking the Lord of what you want to know and understand doesn’t mean that you are doubting what He’s doing in your life. I do this because I know that the Lord is also my friend and that I can just be me and be honest with myself.
I also share with the Lord my feelings of being bad, being in the middle, and being good. Being bad because I am only human and I will never be perfect. Being in the middle of being bad and being good because I weigh things fairly. We cannot always be the oh-so very nice person because there are people who will really take advantage of us. Being good because at the end of the day, the question is whether you did your part as a son/daughter of God and whether you keep His commandments.
Whenever I pray to the Lord, I always tell Him to take me where He wants me to be and I’ll follow. Even if I have requests, at times, it’s not His will for me and there’s no issue on that. I have a question to God that I’ve been asking Him for more than 2 years now. Finally, He answered it thru a situation where I am in right now. I didn’t receive the desire of my heart. I can even cry now because “it didn’t happen” but “HE” alone is more important to me than anything else on earth.
In a church sermon before, there were questions like… “Will you still love God even if He doesn’t answer your prayers?”, Will you still follow God even if He doesn’t let you feel His presence?”, and “Will you still be there for God even if it seems that He is not real?” Today, even if the Lord didn’t answer my desire, I’m accepting it wholeheartedly and I’d still follow and love Him just the same. Yes, there’s a bit of “ouch” but I trust Him until forever and this what makes me grounded.
New International Version (NIV)
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.”